:: The Sigh ::

If I were to sigh every day.

It means that something is definitely wrong with me.

But if I were to keep it to myself.

One day I`ll break down real hard.

The critical level of cancer is not leading me to death, yet!

Hell, no!

I am not having cancer.

But so much of disappointments.

Accumulating by days are sooooo cancerous!

There isn`t any sparkles anymore.

Sometimes I wish I could be a priority.

Just by you looking at me.

And talking to me.

Like others would do.

I went all the way there.

Wanted to spend this extra lunch time with you.

But I had to wait.

You know why.

You were busy with something first.

:)

Then after we had lunch.

You went on doing your things.

If I complain.

You`ll ask.

What the hell do I expect from you, rite?

If I want to talk I could have started talking, rite?

I would expect a simple hug.

I would expect a peck on my cheek.

And I would expect you to tell me how I look ;)

I have so many people around me.

Noticing every single new thing I have.

(Okay now you`ll say because they are busy body)

But for me I feel appreciated.

I feel like they know something new about me.

But I can`t expect it from you.

You don`t even notice any new thing in me.

I know you told me once.

“You have so many new things and you don`t bother telling what you buy”.

Others do have interests in me.

But you.

This morning when I left for work.

I`ve told myself.

I surrender everything today.

God knows what`s the best for me.

And yet I am complaining here.

What to do?

I am trying hard not to say anything to you.

So this blog is where I always resort to.

Probably I shouldn`t have cancelled my lunch appointment after all.

I`d have some entertainment listening to her at least.

I will try not to say anything at all to you.

Just don’t force me to :)

But I hope you`d understand.

That I am a girl.

I have desires.

I have expectations.

I am writing this not solely to point finger at you.

You have your good qualities too.

:: Monday Datang Lagi ::

Today is Monday.

I am at work.

And I am having fever.

So nice!

So many things had happened last week.

One of my uncles from Papa`s side had passed away.

On his daughter`s wedding day which I did not attend.

He got a minor heart attack at the wedding itself.

And was rushed to the hospital.

And so happened I was having fever and wanted to go to the hospital as well.

Something happened there and I was quite pissed with Papa.

But I kept quiet.

When he was discharged they left me alone.

Waiting for my blood test to come out.

They went to fetch my uncle back home.

When I got home.

I slept off and at around 130am.

I received a call from Mama saying that my uncle had gone to Rahmatullah.

Innalillahiwainna`ilahiraji`un.

I didn’t join them coz I was tired.

The next day something happened I fought with Papa.

I just went to the outside of graveyard to recite some prayers for my uncle.

Then I left.

I only met Mama there.

Meluat kat Papa you olls!

For the first time after so long I managed spend time in bed.

Watching DVDs on a Sunday.

Hehehe.

And I was well taken care of.

Thanks to you.

You know who you are.

Today when I came into the office.

I received a gift from a colleague who just got back from Bangkok.

She got me a very nice orange coloured headband.

Owh I am a headband fetish lately.

Hehehe.

I have loads of them in my collection.

And having an orange one is something exciting!

One hour later I received a parcel.

From an ex colleague.

She sent me some gifts from Hong Kong.

She went for a holiday sometimes back.

But we haven’t met since then.

So I received a gold plated bangle, a Goofy key-chain from Hong Kong Disneyland.

Owh I also received a pair of stud earrings by Guess.

I am soo excited I have totally forgotten about my fever.

I am so happy that I always receive gifts from my friends whenever they travel.

But at the same time I feel bad that I can`t return the favour as I have not been going anywhere this few years.

Not even Bangkok!!

Huh!!
Thanks to my beloved bf!!

But this weekend I have some works to be done in Langkawi for few days.

I`ll get them some chocolates perhaps.

Thank you dear friends for always remembering me ;)

:: The Landlady & Her Designer`s Handbags ::

Last night I had dinner with Mr Congo.

He would usually call me out for dinner.

BECAUSE NOBODY WANA GO MAKAN WITH HIM.

He was telling me of how excited he felt.

That now he knew most of the things in the office.

Everything is going on well with this new job.

Good for him.

After dinner I went home.

Membawa hati yang lara.

My landlady was not asleep yet.

So I went over to her to just say hi.

We ended up having about 2 hours conversation.

She was telling me about how good her life was.

Before she fell sick.

She has lived in Paris & Aussie for few years.

And most thing that got me excited.

Was when she told me about her collections of designer`s handbags.

I was so impressed I had to wipe my saliva off the floor.

She was funny though.

She was telling that her very first designer`s handbag was from Chanel.

Few years back.

It was a Chanel Flap in Lambskin.

It was the first day she got her platinum card from her husband.

So she went to Chanel to have a look.

She overheard one SA telling a customer that a bag at the same spot was SGD 399.

So she told the SA she would go for that too!

When she had to sign the chit.

She fainted right there and then!!

It was actually SGD 3999.

Hahahahahaaha!

Then she told me stories about other handbags.

She had a few LV but never had a Neverful.

Arghhh!!

She has loads of Kate Spade too.

But all the bags are in Singapore now.

Since she can`t be using them anyway.

She only has a few totes here from Braun Buffel.

Since she can`t carry heavy stuff because of her bones problem.

Looking at me being so excited.

Aku kan tak penah ada designer handbags you olls!

She asked me to take out something from a dust bag in a cabinet.

I found a black Kate Spade leather handbag that was so beautiful!

Menggigil okay!!

Aku kan org miskin tak penah ada Kate Spade.

Then she told me

“You can have it.

It`s a gift from me.”

I suddenly packed the arm candy back into its dust bag.

And put back into the cabinet.

There`s no way I am going to take that!!

She told me she bought it for a quite good bargain.

“Don`t worry, Tush.

It was quite cheap.

I got it for only SGD 800.

Go on and have it”

Faintttttttttttttttt!!!

She was also telling me to have her Gucci purse in her drawer.

She told me she only used it once and she has a few more.

Mak nak nangis okay!!

But don’t worry.

I did not take anything from her.

At all ;)

:: Today ::

Today.

I really feel like I have no boyfriend.

I don’t even know where he is.

He just doesn’t bother to text or call.

Too busy probably.

But will he be too busy to even tell me that he has landed?

That was yesterday.

And today?

Hurm.

I know one phone is out of battery and he didn’t take the charger along.

But what about another?

I don’t like having this feeling of not being appreciated.

Not that I want him to text me all the time.

But at least update me once a while.

I know he would tell me that he doesn`t even have to report to his mother.
Owh that is sooooo my boyfriend!
And he will say that I purposely wanna find fault.
Which is true.
I am always at fault.
He will also tell me that he is too tied up with things that a text would take up 2 hours of his precious time.
But if even if he goes outstation he still can`t be bothered to tell.
And if I have to follow his mood all the time.
He`ll text when he likes.
And dissapear when ever he wants.
Then don`t keep a girlfriend.
I am not a puppet!

But something really made me wonder.

He was away on Tuesday and he could text me all the while!
Texted me when he has left home to the aiport.
Reached airport.
Flight took off.
Flight landed.
Everything!!
Till he safely got back home.
Hurm.
If I were to ask about it he`ll say
"I was free by then".

I hate to have this feeling of not bein bothered.

Because once I feel like it`s gone.

Then it`s quite hard to come back.

Probably this is the feeling that he wants me to feel.

Fair enough.

You Mr.

Don`t expect me to be there when you need me.

And expect me to be on my own when you don’t need.

But hey.

Have you ever needed me anyway?

:: Owh Gabanku ::

Nothing much is up today.

Went for lunch with the office mates.

Wanted to have mee sotong at Esplanade.

The car park was full.

By the time I wanted to reverse the car.

I hit a divider.

Thanks to my Perodua reverse alarm!

You`re the best.

So Gaban is dented on his back left.

I am so sorry darling.

I didn’t mean to hurt you.

Last week.

I had a meeting at one Gov office.

When I got back to the office and parked the car.

I saw a scratched on the driver`s door.

Long one.

And still new.

Coz the dust from the paint was still there.

Hurm.

Not so good days for Gaban, huh?

But I am quite surprised myself.

There was not even a time that I felt stressed about it.

Not that I don’t love Gaban anymore.

Just that there`s nothing I could do to turn back time.

And what ever happened was destined to happen.

I might ease a bit of it but there was no way for me to escape.

Karma is a friend.

No?

But I have never scratched anyone`s car!

Hehe.

:: The Reward ::

Today is quite a slow day.

As expected.

Not much work in the office.

Mr BF.

As usual is out stationed.

And as usual also.

He wouldn’t call once he arrives.

Most of the times I don’t even know where he is.

Nice!

:)
I wouldnt even know if he`s dead.
Two thumbs up for him!!

There`s nothing much lately for me to blog about.

But I thought of sharing this with you people.

I received an email about this one unsatisfied worker.

She will be retired soon.

She was so upset that she had loads of things to do in the office.

Yet she was getting a very little pay.

So one day in a meeting.

She was so angry she felt that she was bullied.

So much of works with so little pay.

Why on earth is that?

So she left the meeting room after spitting everything out.

A man then followed her and started asking why was she so upset?

She started telling things and the man asked her something.

The conversation was something like this :

Him : Do you have kids?

Her : I do. I have 3 of them.

Him : What are they doing?

Her : 1^st one is a lawyer.2^nd one is a lecturer.3^rd one is becoming a doctor soon.

Him : Can`t you see anything out of that?

Her : No. What`s there to see?

Him : We know when we do good. We will receive good. But it doesn’t mean that we do good at work. We will get the good also at work.God has his own way to reward you. You see you have been sincere with your job all this while.God doesn’t give you a good pay. Instead he gives you something more than that. He gives you good kids with good jobs and good future. Just like when you`re driving. At a junction you see a car wanting to come out. You stop and give way to the car. And the car goes off. When you reach another junction. And you want to go to the main road, there will be another car giving way to you. Not the car you have given the way just now. Why?

Her : Because I have done something good for the car before and now when the car is gone, another car is here to repay me for the good deed?

Him : *smile*

Well.

It was something like that.

It was so beautiful I was smiling all the way while reading this.

And I started thinking.

Even though it could be quite annoying for me to listen to my landlady all the times.

But still.

I don’t really mind.

Coz who knows?

When I am not here.

There will be someone to take care of Mama on my behalf?

:)

:: Great Day..Great People ::

Heya,Bloggy!!

I feel quite happy today.

I mean.

I feel relaxed!

I woke up early today as the maid came in to clean the house.

She comes in every Wednesday.

After I met her.

I resumed to bed for another half an hour.

Then woke up again  at 7.30am.

I was ready by 8.30 and it was kinda shocking.

Time flew so slow.

So I did meditate for abit before I left for work.

Reached office early.

Playing around with the colleagues.

Laughing while eating chocolates we got from a colleague who just got back from Langkawi.

And when I came into my room and switched on my pc.

I received an email from a good friend saying

“While men think "why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?" the women
actually realize that it is not worth to buy the whole pig just to get a
little sausage :)”

Hahaha.

Kinda cute!

Then I put that up on my FB status.

I saw Ms D`s status saying

“Just because he doesn't love you as you wish,

 it doesn't mean he doesn't love you with all his heart”

Also true.

Hurm so many things are going on.

Hehehe.

But the most happiest thing for me this morning.

Is when I received a text saying that a friend of mine.

Had delivered to her first baby girl.

And everybody is happy.

So it`s 20102010 then :)

A great way to start my day.

I hope all great things are coming too.

Great day to you too!