:: Another Good News ::

Today saya demam lagi.

Since Wednesday dah demam.

Pegi jumpa doctor.

She said it`s only viral fever.

Bukan denggi.

Alhamdulillah.

Yesterday terketar2 kat rumah.

Mama called up.

She wanted to take me to the clinic.

Then Mr BF plak called.

He`s coming back from work to take me to clinic.

So I went with him la.

Tak payah susahkan Mama.

Thank you Mr BF for taking care of me.

Berapa lama je lagi pun kan?

Came into the office this morning.

Awal2 kene sergah by a friend in Singapore.

Was catching up lah.

That I will be moving to a new place soon.

Sayonara Limah Jongang!!

My friend got a new place to stay too.

And this friend of mine.

She was all excited!

Her BF asked her to choose the ring!!!

And I was the first to know.

Cehhhhhh!!

She was confused coz the BF is quite dark.

And white gold wouldn’t suit him.

And becoz she is a hybrid hahaha.

Dad is Indian and Mom is Siamese.

She wants to have a thali.

Coz she never forget her root.

That makes me really proud of her.

We went through some websites.

Looking for a nice cut and clarity.

I know nuts about diamond.

As long as it`s a diamond then it`s fine with me.

Hehehe.

Finally we`ve found a classic ring for her.

From Tiffany.

18k Solitaire.

Arghhhh bestnyaaa!!

After all the heartaches she had gone through.

She finally found the man :)

Congrats, babe!

I am so happy for you.

P/S: Dont forget to donate your other Tiffany`s rings to me!

:: That Man ::

                   We never get what we want,
                   We never want what we get,
                   We never have what we like, 

                   We never like what we have,

                   And still we live & love.

 

Found this in my inbox earlier.

I don’t know if I could agree more.

But I guess that`s so typical human desire.

We tend to long for more.

And most of the times when we have something.

We tend to take them.

For granted.

I know someone who is not happy with what he has.

Someone who was very close to me once.

So many similarities I thought I had found what I have been looking for.

But that did not last long.

Sometimes we are like strangers to each other.

Arguing over stupid stuffs.

I treasure what we have now.

As I always try to be in the present.

But it doesn’t work that way for him.

He always think of his past.

How good the life he had abroad.

How good the soil had been to him.

How happy he was back then.

I know he was forced to come back.

I know he was not happy.

I know he tried but he couldn’t.

I know he is not happy.

I wouldn’t say what we have means nothing to him.

But I know what we have is nowhere near his dreams.

Looking back at all his pics when he was abroad.

Breaking my heart apart.

He looked happy.

He looked radiant.

The life he has now.

Is hell to him.

The life he has now.

Is killing him by day.

The life he has now.

Means nothing but hatred.

Disappointments.

I have nothing to fulfil his dreams.

Some might call me stupid.

But I wish I could return the life he had.

Or at least make him goes abroad again.

But too bad.

I am handicap myself.

I do understand his sorrows.

I do understand the life he is going through.

I do understand the desire of getting what we want.

But there is nothing I could do.

To change the world for him.

As much as he thinks that this is not the life he chooses.

The same thought I have in mind.

This is not something I choose, too.

But.

If this is my destiny.

There is nothing else I could do.

Than to pray a lot.

And accept things the way they are.

But one thing for sure.

I never want him to be stuck with me.

Forever.

Some changes are coming soon.

I hope these changes would make him feel better.

And I will keep praying.

That one day.

He`ll be abroad.

And he will be a happy man again.

And to him.

I am sorry I am not being a good thing for you.

I am sorry that you think the number of arguments are more than the good conversations.

I pray that you will get what you have been dreaming of.

:: Tuhan Itu Maha Kaya ::

This entry is meant to be a reminder.

For me to always know that Allah itu Maha Besar.

Maha Kaya.

Maha Berkuasa.

Di hari baik dan bulan yang baik ini.

God is showing us something.

Saya bukan nak riak.

I am not good.

I am not a girl anyone`s mother would want their sons to marry.

I am well aware of the fact.

But I am not hypocrite.

I had a Malay BF since I was in high school.

Been with the same BF for 6 years.

He was one of the family.

Everybody loved him.

But still.

There are some people who were just good in front.

At the back I`ve been a hot topic whenever they meet up.

I have had people sarcastically telling my dad

“Jangan dapat cucu express pulak”

Or

Some were telling their kids in front of me.

Things like

“Anak2 Mama jangan gatal sangat.

Nanti belajar ke mana.

Apa ke mana.

Contoh ada depan mata.

Kalau Mama tau korang ada bf masa study.

Masa tu jugak Mama kawenkan!”

 

Gila direct aku kene sound okay.

Saya senyum dan diam.

While they were very close to my parents.

But having great parents.

They were always there to back me up.

They never failed to protect me.

Till a day came when I said up front.

“Tuhan tu Maha Kaya!”

Years gone by.

The relationship with that Malay BF was over.

I started going out with Non-Muslim.

Which again my parents were being very supportive toward me.

But for some people.

“Murtad dah si Tush ni.”

Sekali lagi saya diam.

Few months back.

Salah seorang manusia yg suka mengata saya itu.

Melahirkan.

Seorang anak perempuan.

Mari kita tunggu dan lihat.

What God has to offer.

And today.

I heard a news.

That was not shocking at all.

I have known all this while that my cousin has been goin out with so many guys.

Been sleeping around.

She`s in college but she`s supporting all her boyfriends.

But.

Who am I to say anything?

Even Mama saw some dramas before her own eyes.

We kept quiet.

Well.

My aunty called up to my mom.

Asking for help.

She didn’t know what to do.

A guy came to the house.

All the way from KL.

Wanted to marry her 20 year old daughter yang bertudung litup itu.

He even showed a bike my cousin bought for him.

An Aprillia that cost almost RM10k.

He said my cousin has been sleeping with him.

At various hotels.

My cousin denied of coz.

But she admitted that she bought the bike for the guy.

Right when she denied that she slept with the guy.

He said that he has evidence.

He has pics and videos.

Doesnt that sound cool?!

And now.

Org yang menghina saya itu.

Dtg merayu di kaki ibu saya.

Meminta pertolongan.

Even asked my dad to help out.

Nak tolong apa?

Tolong bomb budak tu?

And hello!

Anda takde suami ke?

Slalu canang hal saya kat org ramai.
Skani kena kat muka anda.
Pi la canang hal anak anda plak satu kampong!

Saya dah kata.

Tuhan itu Maha Kaya.

Kalau tak paham jugak.

Senang je.

LU PIKIR LA SENDIRI!!!!

P/S : Saya bukan nak riak atau suka atas musibah yg melanda org lain.

        Saya cuma seriously rasa..finallyyyyyyyyy Tuhan tunjuk!

:: Running Away ::

I don't want you to give it all up
And leave your own life collecting dust
And I don't want you to feel sorry for me
You never gave us a chance to be

And I don't need you to be by my side
To tell me that everything's alright
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
So why are you running away?

Cause I did enough to show you that I
Was willing to give and sacrifice
And I was the one who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enough
And when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Is it me, is it you?
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind

Is it me, is it you?
Nothing that I can do
Is it a waste of time?

Is it me, is it you?
Nothing that I can do
To make you change your mind

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

What is it I've got to say
So why are you running away?
To make you admit you're afraid
Why are you running away?

P/S : Owh tidak ada kena mengena dengan sesiapa :)

:: Entry Tak De Tajuk ::

Fuhhhhhhhh!!

This was my first expression.

When I finally read the last word on the last sentence.

Of that wonderful book I mentioned before.

Eat..Pray..Love.

The book is awesome!

Thank you Mr BF for getting me one.

While reading this book for the past 3 weeks.

(Quite disappointed of myself for dragging too long.

I really didn’t have the time.)

A lot of miracles actually happened.

Most of them were some experiences that I personally had.

Happened sometimes before I actually reached some pages.

That made me think

“Hey I know how it feels!”

Or

“Sounds familiar!!”

Or worse.

Like few times I texted Mr BF.

“It`s getting spookier!!”

Was something actually telling me something?

Hahaha.

Wallahualam.

I love the way she wrote.

The way she made it so interesting.

And more exciting to know that those things.

Have actually happened to her.

In real life.

How cool could that be?

From having a miserable life.
She ate a lot in Italy.

She went on to get a self realization.

Went into meditation in India and fell in love.

On that spectacular island, Bali!!

How I wish I could have that wonderful life.

But I don’t think I could bare with the painful life she had earlier on.

Well.

This book has taught me a lot.

On how to be a better person.

On how to love myself and others.

On how to accept my destiny with an open heart.

And most of all on how to be balanced.

But as usual.

Things are easier said than done.

I could say that I do understand.

But I am pretty much sure that it`s gonna be like hell.

Implementing them.

Elizabeth Gilbert herself went through some serious turbulences.

To get what she has now.

Bak kata Pak Sudin kat depan skolah.

Dalam cite Pendekar Bujang Lapok.

“Berapa lama diorang trainingggg????”

I admit that I have an endless list of desires.

Also list of food I`d like to consume all the times.

Out of the gluttony.

Alasan kukuh saya.

“ I`m craving for this.

Kalau tak dapat nanti I tak bley tido.

Bla bla bla .”

Palotak la kan?

But one thing I noticed about myself is.

When I look at others.

Having good lives abroad.

With collections of meleleh-air-liur-collections of designers arm candies.

All I thought to myself was

“ Bestnyaaaaa.

Mesti dia happy.

Kalau laaaa dapat life macam tu!”

And I thank God that I never had this thought of

“Bagus sangat ke dia dapat tu?

Apsal dia dapat aku tak dapat?”

Or similar things.

I really thank the Almighty for that.

Alhamdulillah.

On the other hand.

Things are getting worse on the ways and the amount of food.

I am consuming lately.

Told you guys already.

Gluttony.

I doubt I could fit into my jeans again.

Spent 2 nights at Mama`s.

And I saw a scale beside my bro`s bed when I passed by.

The very gatal-ness in me forced me.

I went over.

To weight myself even when I knew I have expended a lil bit.

Horizontally.

How I wish I have expended vertically.

Haizzzz.

So then I saw these numbers in front of me.

I was so furious.

I knew numbers hated me.

But they could go easy on me for a bit rite?

I saw 54 came up.

Shaittttttttttttttttttttttssssssssssss!!

Oups.

Sorry God.

Then I started whining and whining to Mama.

While eating and munching and drinking and eating.

I told Mama I would be on diet by then.

That was when I grabbed a pack on Subway  Teriyaki sandwich.

Bought by Mr Congo earlier.

And started my operation toward them.

And today.

When I have been telling people that I`d start my diet.

I found out that I got my menstruation.

Which was a week late btw.

I told my colleague about it.

And suddenly.

Another colleague PM-ed me saying.

“Delivery is on the way!”

That was when I received some samosas and a vadae.

Sent right to my room.

I looked at them in fear and said to myself

“No.”

While finding myself munching them like no one`s business.

And the next second I blinked my eyes.

There was none left.

Felt guilty enough.

I headed to the washroom to wash my hand.

To find another plastic bag full of samosas.

On the pantry table.

And right there and then.

I cancelled my washroom trip.

And walked back to my room with another set of samosa.

:(

P/S: I am aiming for my second book of Liz Gilbert`s.

         Committed.

         I`ll pray hard that I`ll get a gift again.

         Hahaha.

:: She`s Getting Engaged ::

An old bestest (hehe) friend of mine.
Just sent me a msg on FB.
Inviting me to her place on 3rd day of Eid.
Which got me asking.
“Nak tunang ke?”
I had a feeling that was the occasion.
And she said.
“Oupss..yup!
Buat kecik aje.
Datang tau!”
I smiled.

There`s no best word to describe what I feel now.
I mean.
Definately not the sayu2 type.
Like.
“OMG.
My best friend is getting engaged!!”
Well I wish that was the feeling that I have now.
But it`s not that.
It`s more to.
Time flies so fast!!

This got me thinking.
Yea time really did fly so fast.
12 years back we knew each other in high school.
We spent that precious 5 years.
Doing everything together.
We shared everything we had.
We even shared our parents.
I used to stay over at hers.
She came over to mine.
We were inseparable by then.
The bond was just so strong ppl used to call us.
“A-B”.
Say my name was A.
And hers was B.
Ppl would call her “B-A”.
And called me “A-B”.

We laughed together.
We cried together.
We went through ups and downs.
We shared everything.

But after we have left school.
Everything changed.
She went her way and I went mine.
She has changed.
We have lost contact.
I would paused when ppl asked me about her.
Coz I didn’t have the answer.

We got back together one day.
We decided to meet up.
Catching up was not so fun as she was being quite reserve.
Not her fault actually.
She has been surrounded by good ppl.
Unlike me.
:)

We met for 3 days in a row.
Coz after that we heard of one of our friends.
Fighting for her life when she had some brain tumour.
We went to visit.
A day after the friend passed away.

That was the last day I met this good friend of mine too.
After that she was gone again.
And today she came messaging.

Well.
Just like Achik.
This girl came back into my life.
For a while.
Then gone again.
Then come again.
But I know Achik is there to stay.

Probably I should understand that everybody has life.
Everybody has things to do.
But is it difficult to stay in touch once a while?
Or am I just a friend ppl come and look for when they need something?

When things like this happen.
I miss BFF.
I miss Cik Putis.
I miss Ms D.
This ppl have never left me alone.

Thank you for always being there, girls!

And B.
Congrats on your engagement.

:: Erti Kawan ::

This morning.

I found myself smiling.

Reading a forwarded email by a friend.

Everything was all well said in it.

Thought of sharing with everybody here.

Bacalah....  

1) kawan tu bkn mcm main FUTSAL.
 Mula-mula kejar.. dah dapat sepak..

2) kawan tu bkn mcm main SKATE.
 Mula-mula gosok..lepas tu pijak...

3) kawan tu bkn mcm main RAGBI.
 Mula-mula tangkap.. dah dapat tendang..

4) kawan tu bknnya mcm PAMPERS..
 dah pakai, buang..

5) kawan tu bknnya mcm BARANG KEMAS.
 Waktu baru beli pakai. Dah sengkek gadai.

6) kawan tu bkn mcm PELANGI.. Hari cerah
 takde..hujan gerimis baru muncul..

7) kawan tu bkn mcm KERETA.
 Rosak skit,jual.. ambik kereta baru..

8) kawan tu bkn mcm CHIPSMORE..
 kejap ade kejap takde..

9) kawan tu bkn mcm BANK.
 Bila dah takde duit,pegi kat sana ambik..

10)lagi.....kawan tu mcm ape ye????
  Haa..kawan tu mcm AWAK LA. .
  bila saya hantar msg,
  awak akan baca msg saya dgn teliti sampai habis.

Walau ape pun tanggapan org tentang kawan..
bagi saya, kawan tu penting.

Seorang kawan takkan biarkan kawan dia menangis,
sedih, berduka dan sebagai nya.

Kawan yg sejati adalah seorang kawan yang dapat diajak duduk dan berbincang tentang pelbagai perkara.

Yang penting, seorang kawan akan sentiasa menghadiahkan senyuman kpd kawan-kawannya.. :)    

  

Happy Monday, peeps!