:: Happy New Year ::

2010 is going to be over soon.

The year that has brought so much meanings to my life.

The year that has taught me a lot.

The year that has made me realize.

Owh my.

The year that has made me a realized soul ;)

Despite being pissed at Papa for loads of things.

I am grateful that Mama`s life is much better than those years.

I am grateful that Papa actually tries to work things out.

Common topic often discussed by me and Mr SW.

“ If you were to have a miserable domestic life.

Would you prefer the life with or without money?”

Hehe!

A lot had happened throughout this wonderful year.

Yeah it is still wonderful despite the painful break up.

I have lost a boyfriend.

But God has given me a new very2 good friend.

I shall not elaborate more but it is enough to say.

That this new thing is working on well.

It seems like that to me though.

:)

God also has granted me with some other good friends who are always there when ever I need them.

I have Mr Congo.

I have BFF.

I have Cik Putis.

I have Ms D.

I have loads others.

I have friends who never leave me at times I need them the most.

Career wise.

Sometimes yea I do feel like kicking someone`s arse.

There were also times I feel like choking others.

(Owh I really sound like Limah Jongs now)

But to think of everything.

Which company will always be in good condition?

I mean the people and the environment.

There must be some times when we`ll have different opinions.

Well.

I hate this people at times but I do know that I love them too!

They`re idiots (hehe) but they also make me happy.

Mr MD could be an arse today but tomorrow he`s all a good friend could be.

Financially I might not be very happy here.

But to think of it.

I am so very lucky to be in this position now.

Some other people out there might not even have a job!

God is great.

On top of that.

I realized a lot of things on how.

Not only a relationship, but a friendship should be.

Again I have to say that the book.

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

Is a freaking good book that has opened my eyes.

It is so surprising to know that a lil sense of understanding would make a huge difference.

I am all a better human now.

At least I hope I am.

And I am looking forward to what 2011 has in store.

Farewell 2010.

Welcome 2011.

Owh our Bolehland won the Suzuki Cup.

Pak Cik Misai Putih memberikan public holiday on Friday.

But let`s see whether Mr MD would declares the same.

;)

Happy New Year, peeps!

:: Boycott ::

While I was blog-hopping.

I found myself on Alia`s.

I always like the way she tells her stories.

The way she draws her cepat-tepat-dan-padat-cartoons.

They`re cool.

Alia.

I do agree with you.

You rawk!

Today she writes about us being Malaysians.

I do agree on what she says.

When we receive chain-emails on some moves.

Like boycotting this and that just because they`re from the West.

We`ll be so semangat-berkobar-kobar to circulate those emails.

Showing to others that as an Islamic country we should really ban these products.

Because of so and so.

Boycott Coke.

Boycott Mc Donalds.

Boycott this and that of American products.

Why?

I don’t have to elaborate further on this.

Despite of knowing that some of our brothers and sisters might lose their jobs.

We still want to boycott without thinking outside of the box.

For we think that rezeki ada di mana-mana.

Insya Allah.

It`s true.

Rezeki ada di mana2.

Boycott la barangan tu suma.

Dah alang2 memboycott.

Boycott la jugak the usage of the computers.

The mobile phones.

Those iPad and so forth.

Please bear in mind that those gadgets you are using now don’t come from Malaysia.

They come from the ideas of those Jewish and Whites and who-ever-they-are but Malaysians.

Even the internet you`re using now is not Made In Malaysia.

I am not against anyone here.

But I think we are more educated to think of which is the best for the country.

Kalau ko nak boycott sangat.

First thing you have to do is.

STOP BEING ON FB, YOU PEOPLE!!

:: Ayaq Owh Ayaq ::

Dalam banyak banyak pulau.

Pulau apa yang tak dak ayaq?

That`s the question of the day.
:(

Last night I went home late.

I was out with Mr Congo melepak kat Chili`s.

Finally I got back home after 2 weeks merempat kat rumah Mama.

Tengok bilik dah jd macam store.

So I started cleaning up.

That was when one of my housemates got home.

Talked to her for a bit then I continued my work.

I`ve forgotten to remind her that there would be a water supply interruption.

After cleaning up my room.

I went to take shower.

By then I kept some water in the tank.

That would be sufficient in the morning just in case I got up late.

Plus the interruption would be at 8am and she will be out before that.

I was sure she would use the shower instead.

But to my surprise.

When I woke up.

The water was not in the tank.

At all.

I noticed that she was around so I asked her.

She said the water supply was still there when she took shower.

Dah tu ko abihkan air dalam tank tu buat apa?

Dah mandi tatau nak isi balik??!!
Dangggggg!!!!

Dengan segera called Papa.

He said all apartments should have extra tankers for situation like this.

But why they don’t have that at mine?

Well nevermind.

Dengan muka paling suci bak bidadari syorga.

Mata pun dok mamai lagi.

I sped to my Mama`s.

Di sana sempat bermandi-manda sambil menyanyikan lagu.

“Kelapa dan orked.

Baik untuk rambot”

Dah siap nak kuar ke office.

I received a text from her saying sorry.

She didn’t know that there will be an interruption.

Tidak mengapalah.

Saya sudah mandi.

Then on the way to work.

I realized something.

(Owh sangat banyak realizations terjadi semenjak dua menjak ini)

I realized that I was not pissed with her at all.

I was not pissed that I might not be able to come to work.

I was not even pissed of the possibilities of coming to work without shower.

Even on the way to Mama`s just now.

I was thinking.

Everything happens for a reason.

Probably it is destined for me to escape from something.

Wallahua`lam.

Maka dengan itu.

Saya dah mandi!

:: Yesterday..Today..And Tomorrow ::

Today is a big day.

It might look just as another day.

But it means a lot to me.

Today I realized so many things.

This morning I did my meditation after so long.

I found out that the last I wrote to Mother was 3 months ago.

How bad is that?

I took things for granted and only realized when I was about to lose it.

I have lost a lot in fact.

But I am still lucky that I still have the opportunity to regain.

Today I miss Mr SW so much in the morning.

The thought that this 27^th was supposed to be our anniversary.

Was just too painful for me to accept.

I then did my meditation for quite sometimes.

And I found that my heart was very much lighter.

It was so serene I didn’t want to stop.

:)

I started telling myself that regardless of how difficult it could be.

Whether or not I want.

I still have to move on.

Yesterdays were memories.

Yesteryears were not coming back.

And I should be happy that we both are happy.

With the way we are taking things now.

We still have each other.

Despite this break up.

At least I still get to see him whenever I want.

Unlike Kak Meen.

Her hubby will never come back.

I don’t know how is she going through all this.

But I hope God will give her all the strengths she needs to pull through.

Her hubby passed away last week in her arms.

He`ll be buried in the UK tomorrow.

Al-Fatihah.

Owh how God has been easy on me.

Then I started thinking.

Lately I have been reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

It opened up my eyes.

He was not the only wrong-doer in our relationship.

I was to share the fault too.

He might be a bit rebellious.

But I was supposed to understand better.

I shouldn’t be too pushy when he couldn’t deliver.

I shouldn’t have any high expectation.

I could see the things that I did wrong too.

That book is really freaking good.

All this while I thought I have been doing all the right things.

But no.

Well I do not want to say “If I could turn back time” and so forth.

For I am grateful of who I am now.

Things happened the way they are destined.

The book came to me after my break up is also in my destiny.

I wish to be a better person in the future.

I will not deny that sometimes it feels so painful when I suddenly miss him.

But I know everything happens for a reason.

I wish you the best of luck, Mr SW.

Okay enough of being emo.

Just now after my meditation.

I opened up a drawer where I keep my company camera.

I was shocked that it was not there.

But I was not panicked.

Okay that was a huge improvement!

I was not panicked!!!

I bandhan then I started asking my colleagues if anyone sees it.

But to no avail.

Someone could have come into my room when I was on few days medical leave last week.

Still not panicked.

I was chatting to a colleague.

She told me not to worry.

I still didn’t feel anything.

About an hour later.

Another colleague came in and asked whether I have found the camera.

Which I answered

 “No”

She then asked me

“ You wanna know the truth? ”

I said

“ Yes “

She then explained

“ We were panicked that the camera was nowhere to be seen.

Then someone remembered seeing it in your room.

So Eric went into your room to take it”

Fine.

Then I asked her

“ Why only now you`re telling?

When I asked just now you said you have no idea?”

She said

“ We wanted to fool you.”

She smiled and walk away.

I tell you.

She should be grateful that I just did my meditation.

Before I found out that the camera was gone.

If I were to be so emo missing Mr SW and they were making this stupid joke.
My vocab would have increased tremendously.

God knows what kind of bad words will be showered with so much of love to her.

And I then again realized.

My bandhan worked!

Thank  God!!

Lets see what tomorrow has in store.

:: I Miss You ::

Ari ni emo lagi.

Bukan emo pasal tak buleh dok kat England.

Ari ni emo sbb rindu kat Mr SW.

Ntah la kenapa lately asyik rindu kat dia.

Not that I`ve not met him at all.

But yea.

I just tend to miss him more and more by days.

I guess this is so me!

Last time bila break up dgn my ex pun.

I was very fine on the first few weeks.

Masuk je 3^rd ke 4^th weeks.

Mula la meroyan bagai.

But this time tak de la meroyan.

Rindu jugak la.

Bley jugak la kuar air mata sebesen dua.

Hehehe kidding.

It`s good to see that he`s happy with his life now.

Been busy with work and no one is there to be an attention freak.

He`s free to do anything he wants.

We`ve been in touch.

We`re still  friends anyway.

We met quite often.

Maybe I shouldn’t.

But God knows now how much I miss him.

Going back home to be all alone is not helping.

Nak je pegi rumah Mama tapi mcm tak comfortable pulak.

Dah la dengan red flag lagi.

And kalau asyik nak lari sana sini sbb tanak rasa lonely.

I dunno if I still love him.

But looking at him being happy now.

Making my heart filled of joys.

But why do I miss him so much?

Have I not moved on?

Haihhh.

I miss you so much.

It hurts.

:: Tak Boleh Dok Kat England ::

Hari ini hari Selasa.

Sejuk gile siap pakai jacket on top of the cardigan.

Of coz the cardigan is worn on top of something else.

Tak pasal2 jadi emo sbb rasa mcm tak buleh nak dok kat England.

Emo gila2 sbb rasa mcm kalau sejuk sbb ujan lebat dan aircond pun dah pakai baju banyak2.

Rasa macam duduk dalam fridge.

Bagaimanakah mahu tinggal di England?

Emo emo emo.

Lepas emo2 baru teringat sesuatu.

Bila masa pulak aku nak dok kat England?

Hahaha.

Bongok sungguh hari ini.

Owhhhhh PMS.

Cepat la berlalu.

Sejak2 PMS ni.

Di tambah pulak dgn cuaca yang hujan tak henti2.

Dgn aircond yang tetiba slalu sejuk menyucuk ke tulang.

Selera makan yang sudah sememangnya seperti jin pun bertukar kepada reksasa ganas.

Dalam keteringinan yang membuak2 untuk memakan tomyam panas.

Sebungkus besar oreo ditelan dalam masa tak sampai 10 mins.

Kemudian sebungkus nasik goreng ayam menjadi mangsa.

Adakah aku akan bertukar menjadi Misha Zulaikha?

Owh tidakkkkkk.

MZ.

I miss you :(

Okay.

Emo kembali.

Mahu mencari makanan lagi.

Update :

Tadi pegi mencari asam di seluruh office.

Suma org ada sweet je.

Sedikit hampa.

Pegi kat finance dept.

Kakak Ninja mempunyai asam.

Fuhhhh.

Alhamdulillah syukur nikmat.

Kepada Tuhan yang member rahmat.

Dah abih makan asam.

Tak cukup.

Call ke despatch boy nak mintak tlg singgah 7E before balik office.

Me         :  A, balik office jap lagi tlg pegi 7E beli asam.

                   Aku dahaga asam la.

A           :  Hang awat? Hang mau asam ka ayaq?

Owh my god.

Penyakitku datang lagi.

Salahkah aku?

:: Entry ::

Had a great lunch.

Nasik kandaq sempoi punye bersama ayam yg sedap!

Last night was the first night I stayed at my new place.

Yea pindah dah seminggu tapi masih merempat sampai la smlm.

Kepada yang menjaga saya selama ini.

Thank you very much for the great time.

I feel loved.

To Mr Congo & Mr SW.

Thank you so much for your help semasa saya pindah.

So back to last night.

I was back home around  8 and fixed my curtain “selit”.

Everything looks cool in the room.

I left for dinner with Mr Congo at Subway after he finished work.

By the time I came home.

I saw my new housemate Ms K was picking up something from the car.

Owh yea I have 2 housemates, Ms K and Ms P.

Both are sweet and cool.

So far.

So they were happy to see me settled in my room.

I settled everything within 1 day but they have been there for a week.

And still mcm org gila.

Hahaha.

We were talking while having hot drinks.

Ms P went into the room and Ms K started asking me.

Whether the friend I told who passed away of an accident was the one she reads on the newspaper.

Yea that was the one!

Then we started talking about our so called BFs when she mentioned that she broke up 2 weeks back.

Owh my!!

It was about 3 weeks back that I met them both when I viewed the room.

They looked happy together.

And I thought I was the only person bringing in my break up story.

She said they were together for 3 years.

And the BF called it off because he thinks that they can`t manage having 2 religions when they`re married.

The BF is Christian and Ms K is a Hindu.

Seriously.

I thought these kind of things are only problems for Muslims.

I never thought it would happen to others.

But yea.

Shit happens.

We were talking and she was a bit sad but she was smiling.

She said it`s good to talk to someone who has been there and done that.

Well.

I don’t know.

Hahaha.

Owh she even said that she thought “My Boyfriend” was a MAMAK.

Read : MAMAK!!

Hahahahahaha.

I went to view the house with Mr SW.

So Mr SW.

I am sorry.

You are no Italiano.

Pinjam pic Azad kejap letak sini untuk memberi kesan lebih MAMAK.

Hahaha.

I hope Boboy doesn’t read my blog!

:: Happy Birthday! ::

About 6 years back.

I was quite active in this one famous forum.

Owh definitely bukan forum Cari yek!

From this forum that I shall not named.

I got to know so many good friends.

We shared so many ups and downs together.

We gave each other supports and encouragements.

We were like a big family.

Till today we are still close to each other.

One of them.

Was Cik Putis

She was among the first few that I knew.

After sometimes being friends on the forum.

We finally took a bigger step.

To chat on Yahoo Messenger.

I still can remember very clearly.

The first time we chat.

Adalah sangat sopan!!

I was at the sales office on a weekend.

Working my ass out.

While chatting.

Lalalala.

Then this Red Ribbon added me on YM.

I was happy!!

“Femes gile ni Red Ribbon nih!!

Dia add aku!!”

I was talking to myself.

So I happily accepted the request.

Maka bermulalah kisah persahabatan yang baruuuuu.

It was something like this.

Red Ribbon              : Hi Boo!

Boo                        : Hi Red!

Red Ribbon           : Boo kat mana?

Boo                        : Boo kat office. Red kat mana?

Red Ribbon           : Red kat umah je. Boo dah makan?

Boo                        : Dah. Jap tadi makan KFC.

Red Ribbon             : Eh, Red pun makan KFC!!

Boo                        : Eh eh sama la kita!!Sehati dan sejiwaaaa.

Hohoho.

Macam sedikit syial je masa ni.

Sungguh skema.

But that was the day that I got to know her better.

Only after a year I got to meet her in person.

Tu pun sbb birthday Accapan!

Gila putis pompuan ni.

Mata sepet macam Korea.

We always call her Korea Sesat.

She is well known of her makan-tebuan attitude.

Asyik2 nak baran.

Asyik2 nak maki.

Buat salah dgn dia maka kena la kau!

Serioussss mak tebuan!

Hahaha.

Tapi dia comel.

(Okay itu ayat cover)

Tapi sejak dua menjak ni.

Dia dah sejuk sket.

Maybe sbb dah akil-baligh.

Atau mungkin sudah menopause.

Okay2.

Tanak cite panjang2 dah.

Nanti kene maki dgn mak tebuan.

Dearest Cik Putis,

Happy twenty tuttttt birthday.

May you be blessed all the time.

May you find pengganti Bon-Bon.

This time I`ll name him Pon-Pon.

May you be an Ustazah if you ever gonna get married to an Ustaz.

Muahahaha.

I love you,babe!

:: That Girl ::

Today is Friday.

Esok dah boleh pindah rumah baru.

Legaaaaaa.

Tapi blom 100% lega sbb blom pindah lagi.

Esok akan menjadi bibik mengemas rumah.

Lately.

Rasa mcm scary.

Sbb bila something bad about to happen.

I tend to feel a very strong indication.

I think this is the 2^nd or the 3^rd time.

When I suddenly think of someone.

For quite sometimes.

Like a week or so.

Org tu meninggal!

Serious.

Okay for those who know me.

Better main jauh2 okay.

Hahahaha.

Since a week back.

I have been thinking of an ex-colleague.

We were not very close even though she was fine with me when she first joined the company.

This was like 3 years ago.

She was a friend who by then was so close to Mr SW.

I heard they were together.

I didn’t even bother.

I wasn’t even into him at that time.

But then an event was held and I got Mr SW as my partner.

From there the feeling actually started to bloom.

But I didn’t want it coz I thought he was with this girl.

Till he told me that nothing was happening between them.

So after sometimes.

We were together.

Suddenly the girl became so pissed at me.

Tapi dah takdir kan?

Muehehe.

What I really couldn’t forget about her.

Was when we had a complication about a deal we closed with this one ministry.

It was supposed to be mine coz I have been doing everything accordingly.

But she said it was hers because she had been following up even before me.

But without recording it down.

She was even more pissed at me.

I still could remember how b*thcy (sorry to use this word on her now) she was.

The way she folded her arms.

The way she talked and screamed.

Owh I felt like slapping her face!!

But I gave in and told my director to give the deal to her.

Then off she went out of the meeting room showing a very satisfied face that she has won!

But she didn’t know.

She might win the war.

But I have won the battle ;)

Honestly.

By that time I really thought.

It was just a deal.

Only few hundred Ringgit of commission.

And also.

I really thought that.

She wanted to be with Mr SW so much.

But she didn’t get him.

Now it`s just a deal.

Let her have it.

Kesian u olls.

Hahaha.

But.
Since last week I have been thinking of her.

After these 3 years.

Looking at her pics on FB.

I knew she was depressed.

I knew she was not happy.

I knew something was going wrong.

But who I am to say anything?

I have been thinking of her a lot lately.

Till last night when I was driving.

My heart was pounding so hard.

It was so hard I found me rubbing my chest.

Tummy was very upset.

It was so stressing out.

Until I received a call.

A friend said.

“ Tush..ada kematian..it`s ****.

She met an accident last night.”

I asked so many times to.

I even said out her full name to be sure.

I hoped I heard it wrongly.

But what I heard was indeed the right name.

I shivered in the car.

Called to Mr SW.

Apparently he was having the same feeling.

I felt so sad and shocked.

Felt like my heart stops.

But why did it happen this way.

Was she still pissed at me?

I don’t know.

What ever it is.

RIP girl.

December.

I just wished that you could be good to me.

I never knew this was what I was getting.

:: Fireworks ::

Hurm.

It`s been more than a week since I last updated this blog.

Loads of things have happened throughout this one week.

But I don’t feel like writing about them.

Coz of most them are disasters.

But good things did happen too.

Settled everything with the new place.

Hope to pick up the keys tomorrow.

And on Saturday I will be moving in.

I can`t wait.

Again I am praying hard.

I hope the 2 new housemates are not psychos!

1^st day of the last month of the year.

I hope this month will be good to me.

Despite having some menyampah-meluat-otak-bernanah moments with my psycho landlady just now.

I actually received a good news early in the morning from Mr SW.

So the day had actually started off with something pleasant.

Looking forward to move into the new place on Saturday.

And also looking forward to the new year.

Owh.

This got me thinking of last 3 years` eve.

Chenta baru nak berputik that time.

I was out with Mr SW and we watched fireworks.

Spent so much time in Coffee Bean instead of a club till 4am.

And couldn’t sleep till 7-8am coz of the caffeine.

Hehe.

That was one beautiful moment.

But never mind.

I am looking forward to what life has to offer.

On the other hand.

Cik Putis actually is making plan for Sarawak Rainforest Music Festival next year.

Hope everything will work out well!!