Today is a big day.
It might look just as another day.
But it means a lot to me.
Today I realized so many things.
This morning I did my meditation after so long.
I found out that the last I wrote to Mother was 3 months ago.
How bad is that?
I took things for granted and only realized when I was about to lose it.
I have lost a lot in fact.
But I am still lucky that I still have the opportunity to regain.
Today I miss Mr SW so much in the morning.
The thought that this 27th was supposed to be our anniversary.
Was just too painful for me to accept.
I then did my meditation for quite sometimes.
And I found that my heart was very much lighter.
It was so serene I didn’t want to stop.
:)
I started telling myself that regardless of how difficult it could be.
Whether or not I want.
I still have to move on.
Yesterdays were memories.
Yesteryears were not coming back.
And I should be happy that we both are happy.
With the way we are taking things now.
We still have each other.
Despite this break up.
At least I still get to see him whenever I want.
Unlike Kak Meen.
Her hubby will never come back.
I don’t know how is she going through all this.
But I hope God will give her all the strengths she needs to pull through.
Her hubby passed away last week in her arms.
He`ll be buried in the UK tomorrow.
Al-Fatihah.
Owh how God has been easy on me.
Then I started thinking.
Lately I have been reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.
It opened up my eyes.
He was not the only wrong-doer in our relationship.
I was to share the fault too.
He might be a bit rebellious.
But I was supposed to understand better.
I shouldn’t be too pushy when he couldn’t deliver.
I shouldn’t have any high expectation.
I could see the things that I did wrong too.
That book is really freaking good.
All this while I thought I have been doing all the right things.
But no.
Well I do not want to say “If I could turn back time” and so forth.
For I am grateful of who I am now.
Things happened the way they are destined.
The book came to me after my break up is also in my destiny.
I wish to be a better person in the future.
I will not deny that sometimes it feels so painful when I suddenly miss him.
But I know everything happens for a reason.
I wish you the best of luck, Mr SW.
Okay enough of being emo.
Just now after my meditation.
I opened up a drawer where I keep my company camera.
I was shocked that it was not there.
But I was not panicked.
Okay that was a huge improvement!
I was not panicked!!!
I bandhan then I started asking my colleagues if anyone sees it.
But to no avail.
Someone could have come into my room when I was on few days medical leave last week.
Still not panicked.
I was chatting to a colleague.
She told me not to worry.
I still didn’t feel anything.
About an hour later.
Another colleague came in and asked whether I have found the camera.
Which I answered
“No”
She then asked me
“ You wanna know the truth? ”
I said
“ Yes “
She then explained
“ We were panicked that the camera was nowhere to be seen.
Then someone remembered seeing it in your room.
So Eric went into your room to take it”
Fine.
Then I asked her
“ Why only now you`re telling?
When I asked just now you said you have no idea?”
She said
“ We wanted to fool you.”
She smiled and walk away.
I tell you.
She should be grateful that I just did my meditation.
Before I found out that the camera was gone.
If I were to be so emo missing Mr SW and they were making this stupid joke.
My vocab would have increased tremendously.
My vocab would have increased tremendously.
God knows what kind of bad words will be showered with so much of love to her.
And I then again realized.
My bandhan worked!
Thank God!!
Lets see what tomorrow has in store.
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