Wednesday, November 3, 2010

:: Time Heals Almost Everything..Give Time..Sometimes ::

A 2nd entry for today.
It`s only 538pm and I have more than an hour to finish work.
The day is so damn boring!
Free pun aku complain.
Busy pun aku complain.
Human is really an ungrateful creature kan?
Why can`t we just shut the F up and carry on?
Okay ter-emo pula di situ.
Muehehehe.

Actually I feel a bit reluctant to write this entry.
For I think it is too private to be shared.
And also because few of my readers (aiyoo perasan sudah..ada readers konon!!).
Know me personally.
So it means that they do know him too.
I do not want to tarnish his reputation.
I should be thinking of his pride too (water face buleh?).
But again.
The initial idea of having this blog is for me to pour my feelings out.
And I think I had enough of taking care of others feelings.
While mine are being ignored.

Just now.
I was reading something.
Then suddenly a thought came across my mind.
His voice.
It was telling me something.

All this while I have been thinking.
That despite of all the wrongdoings.
I still loved that man.
But somehow there was one particular thing that hurts me so much.
It was killing me by days.
I just couldn’t figure what was that.

But after I heard the voice again just now.
Telling me that one thing.
I was in tears without me realizing it.
Thank you Mr MD for giving me this room.
Tak de la org nampak aku dok emo kan?

Then I decided to stop thinking about it.
I started to remind myself that despite being a bit unreasonable.
He was the one who made me smile and laugh.
Dgn sapa aku boleh melawak maki hamun bagai kan?
He was the one who would be listening to all my grumbles.
He was the one who I turned to whenever I need.

But then the voice came to me again.
Then I realized.
It is this one particular thing that has been haunting and hurting me.
All this years.
And yet I stayed.

Well everything happens for a reason.
I am sure it works the same for me.
If I have not met the wrong.
Then how am I suppose to meet the right kan?
Cehhhh..nak meet the right bagaiiii??
Masa emo dok kata tanak dah kan?
Serik dah kan?
Terkemaluan sebentar.

Well it was only a part of speech kan?
Hehehe.
Cover line lagi!
But seriously.

While you have never done anything wrong.
Even when your man has no intention of hurting you.
How would you feel.
When he tells you.

“ I have lost the desire towards you “

It kills me.
It sure does.

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